ramblings from the edge

Year End Resolutions January 5, 2007

Did I express love this year, real love?  The kind of
love that doesn’t announce itself in flashy
circumstances or structured conditions – but an
authentic, quiet, internal love?  The kind of love
that bubbles to the surface when I gaze at another
with understanding, a love that places me in their
shoes, granting freedom from judgment and deepening
my compassion?  A philanthropic love that expresses
because it simply feels compelled to, because it knows
there is more than enough and everyone can benefit. If
not, then I resolve to be and do better in my
authentic loving.

Did I forgive this year, really forgive?  The kind of
forgiveness that cracks open my heart, peeling away
one more layer of righteous indignation, thus allowing
my soul to breathe?  The kind of forgiveness that
loosens my clinched fists held high at a situation so
that I don’t enter into the next one with guarded
mistrust?  The kind of forgiveness that comprehends
there is a difference between understanding a
behavioral choice and condoning it? If not, then I
resolve to be and do better in my forgiving. 

Did I stop this year, really stop?  The kind of
stopping that can’t help but make me vulnerable by
becoming more familiar with who I am without
distraction, smoke screens, excuses or self-imposed
numbing?  The kind of stopping that turns me, naked,
towards my feelings, giving them permission to
express?  No right or wrong – a stopping that simply
lets me hear what I need to hear so that I can live
more effectively?  If not, then I resolve to be and do
better in allowing myself to stop.

Did I seek adventure this year, real adventure?
The kind of adventure that requires me to not only take a
leap of faith off my cliff of familiarity but actually
sends me back to get a running start?  The kind of
adventure that shakes the dust off my capable but
underused wings and gives them an opportunity to catch
the gorgeous wind of change?  The kind of adventure
that knows there is no outside safety net in this
physical world, only an internal one?  If not, then I resolve
to be and do better in seeking adventure.

Did I seek wellness this year, real wellness?
The kind of wellness that requires me to be fully
conscious of what I put in my body – the kind of
wellness that requires me to practice what I preach
when it comes to self-love while understanding that
the power to dissolve poor habits starts by simply
choosing to change?  Wellness that says, “This is the
only body you’ve got. Treat me with respect, praise me
daily and honor me as the holy temple that I am?”  If
not, then I resolve to be and do better in allowing
wellness in my life.

Did I play this year, really play?  The kind of play
that gives value to the heavenly activity of fun -
knowing that fun is sacred, that play is the
equivalent of work and that during play -renewal and
relaxation usher in the newest ideas and the clearest
choices for better manifestations?  Did I view play as
a necessary life function and not a debatable luxury?
If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my
relationship to playing.

Did I set a goal and see it to completion this year,
really complete it?  The kind of completion that lets
the vibration of satisfaction and confidence in my
abilities heal any opposing ideas of not being good
enough?  Did I honor my life and its sacred purpose by
utilizing my time with forward thinking and letting my
mistakes be motivators not antagonists? Did I dissolve
my insecurities and procrastination by understanding
that my untapped genius has but one mode of expression
and that is through idea, thought, word and action? If
not, then I resolve to be and do better in setting and
completing my goals.

Did I open myself up to learn this year, really
learn?  The kind of learning that entices me to enroll in
being a student of life with thirst and enthusiasm?
Did I set an intention for uncovering more of my
potential, letting divine intellect eat from my plate
and stepping deeper into the waters of wisdom?  Did I
open a book, take a class, study a language, learn an
instrument, write a poem, visit another culture?  Did
I learn to surprise and thrill myself with the
infinite capacity I have to master more than I thought
I could?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better
on my personal path of learning.

Did I clean up my relationships this year, really
clean them up?  The kind of cleaning that requires me
to break open the lock, pull back the curtain, throw
open the window and start removing the dust of harsh
words, grudges, false accusations and misguided
choices that have layered my heart?  Did I make amends
for the fearful ways that disheartened another, for
neglecting to honor their point of view?  With careful
examination, did I communicate my truth, understanding
that sometimes all we may be able to do is agree to
disagree and to do so without judgement or malice?  If
not, then I resolve to be and do better on cleaning up
my relationships.

Did I share my good this year, really share?  The
kind of sharing that comes from the pure joy of seeing
another succeed, not from what I think they can or
will do for me in return?  Did I tithe back to where I
was spiritually fed, transformed and inspired?  Did I
practice random acts of kindness and give of my time,
talent, and treasure realizing that my good is a part
of a never-ending wellspring that cannot run dry -
whose source is and always will be the infinite
wellspring of the Divine?  Did I commit to walking the
altruistic path, remembering that every step brings
healing and enlightenment to the world?  If not, then
I resolve to be and do better in my sharing.

Did I pray this year, really pray?  The kind of prayer
that is spoken not to God but AS God – prayers that
affirm rather than beseech, are pregnant with knowing
rather than bloated with doubt?  Did I make my every
day activities a prayer – realizing that every thought
I think carries with it the responsibility of
an effect on the world?  Did I remember how truly
powerful my own prayer actually is and that by simply
devoting myself to the practice of it, I become the
change?   Did I remember that my prayer takes what I
seek and introduces it to me, the seeker?  If not,
then I resolve to be and do better with praying.
Did I do all these things because deep down inside I
fully understand how precious I am and that these
activities will help me to see that I am held in the
light as a perfect idea?  Did I remember that I have
been perfectly conceived and am always held in the
perfect mind of God as a perfect being?  Did I know that
there is nothing that I can ever say, nothing I can
ever do that will separate me from that? If
for any reason, I forgot my divinity this year, then I
resolve to be and do better in my knowing of it, to
fully understand and embody the truth as I believe.
And I believe in the power of Good, for me, for you, for all.

                                                           — by Rev. David Ault